This is how it all turned out . . .

(This, for obvious reasons, was never published in the Leavenworth Times.  It’s how I see things as of March 25, 2012.  Of course, things could change, but I doubt they will.)

OK, I’m a historian, writing fifty years from now.  My subject is how things worked out for the nation and the candidates after Super Tuesday in 2012. 

Ron Paul, who was 76 in 2012, never changed.  He ran again five more times in presidential primaries, before finally retiring from politics.  At the age of 100, he ran in the New York marathon and finished second. Shortly after that, Libertarianism was recognized as a mental illness, and he spent the rest of his life in a low-security mental hospital, where he taught classes on the Constitution to his fellow inmates.

Herman Cain never participated in politics again.  His continual hang-dog look was a result of incessant nagging from his wife, who never forgave him for the indiscretions revealed during his candidacy. 

Rick Perry ran for the Senate in 2018.  He was well liked but was always in the minority side, and had few real accomplishments in his three terms there.

Michelle Bachmann remained a gadfly in the House of Representatives for another few years before retiring.  She spent the next twenty years as a little old lady in Minnesota.

John Huntsman spent the rest of his life just being rich.  He eventually bought a vacation home in Roatan and lived there most of the time.  He did visit China several more times.

Newt Gingrich was the first of the remaining four to drop out of the race after Super Tuesday.  He won a total of two southern states, but did miserably everywhere else.  After that, he wrote and lectured extensively, and became the de facto intellectual leader of the Republican Party for several years.  His reform ideas were admired by many, but none were ever really tried. 

Rick Santorum fought on, but the Romney snowball eventually overwhelmed him.  Afterward, he served as Secretary of Health and Human Services during Romney’s presidency.  He retired after that, and devoted his life to writing and lecturing about social issues.  

Mitt Romney won a close, heavily contested election and became President of the United States in 2013.  He lost in the popular vote but won the Electoral College by a few votes.  This re-energized the Popular Vote advocates, but they never quite managed to pass the amendment.

As President, Romney was made ineffective by a Senate which remained under Democrat control.  Although he rescinded many of Obama’s regulations and fired the many czars Obama had appointed, he was unable to balance the budget, have Obamacare repealed, or make any serious reforms in entitlements.  Thus, during his term, the balance of people on government aid — as opposed to those earning wages and paying taxes — finally tipped so that there were more takers than taxpayers.  No Republican or fiscal conservative could win as long as this situation lasted.  Romney was defeated in his bid for re-election, and Michelle Obama became President in 2017. 

Barry Obama was content to be “First Husband” in the White House.  He founded and ran his centers for Islamic Studies, and traveled extensively on Air Force Two – at public expense — while his wife ran things.  She was no more competent than he had been.

During Michelle’s third year in office, the United States suffered a financial collapse similar to that of Greece when China suddenly stopped loaning money to the American government.  The United States could no longer pay Social Security, extend unemployment, hand out food stamps, provide medical care, or employ anyone. No one in the world offered bailout money.  Michelle ordered a lot of money printed, but it was almost worthless. So, millions of older folks starved to death, as did all those depending on the government for their living.  Only people with private sector jobs survived.  It was the greatest catastrophe in world history.

We now have a leaner, meaner America.  Much meaner, and much less crowded.  On the bright side, there’s no unemployment.    



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