In Part I of the handbook, we saw generic rules all politician of every party should follow to ensure their reelection, while fooling the people into thinking they are doing something for the country. However, each political party has added rules for their own politicians. Here we take up the Democrat Party extensions to the handbook.
The following rules are for Democrats only:
- Keep it simple, Stupid. Those who vote Democrat are stupid, and can safely be treated as such. Republicans are evil-doers, but Independents are wonderful.
- Always say, “The Rich aren’t paying their fair share,” “Tax the Rich,” “raise taxes on the Rich,” and finally, “Republicans are trying to protect the Rich.” No matter what the issue, these simple, tired canards always work. Remember, the Rich are few in number, so if they vote against you, it doesn’t matter. More than half of the people pay no income taxes and don’t care if the Rich are taxed too much.
- You can’t ever spend too much. Just issue U.S. Treasury bonds to cover what you spend. Who cares if most of the money is borrowed from China?
- Corporations are especially evil. Keep them under the thumb of government. Regulate them to death, and tax all their profits. Insist that they hire more people in spite of that – they are the reason we have unemployment. Make sure they donate a lot to your re-election campaign, or else.
- Legislation is intended solely for the purpose of buying votes. If it doesn’t pander to a large special interest group who vote Democrat and contribute to you and the Democrat Party, forget it.
- The general public can be divided into an endless number of special interest groups, and each group can claim to be victims – Democrats can funnel federal money and favorable regulations to them – and thus buy their votes. Identify the group, learn what they want, and think up legislation they will like. Invent new “rights” for them. Don’t forget old groups we’ve pandered to: unions, the old, the poor, environmentalists, Gay/Lesbian folks, Afro-Americans, Illegal immigrants (New term: undocumented Democrats), women (wrongly called Feminazis), drug users who want drugs to be legalized, Muslims, and government employees.
- Accept no real federal spending cuts. It’s OK to say you are for cuts, even pretend to go along, but don’t ever let any take effect. A good ploy is to put them off until after the next election. Keep kicking the can down the road. The next Congress is likely to be controlled by Democrats.
- Never propose federal budgets or specific fiscal reform plans. After all, someone will notice the lack of real economy in your plans. Let Republicans propose all the reforms, so Democrats can criticize them endlessly and gain political advantage.
- Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and the other “entitlements” are the 3rd rail of politics, and Democrats can only enhance, never diminish them. Make sure any changes are proposed only by Republicans, then scream bloody murder – Republicans want to hurt the old and the poor (for the benefit of the Rich.)
- Learn the language of baseline budgeting. According to baseline budgeting, each department of government is expected to receive an increase of three to ten per cent each year. If they get less than their expected increase, that’s a “cut”, and if they get more, it’s an “increase”. Never allow any department to actually receive less money in real terms than it did the prior year.
- Find a good place to hide away your bribe and graft money. Don’t keep it in your home freezer.
- Always speak to the media with the same talking points. You just repeat what Obama, Reid, and Pelosi say. We Democrats don’t need originality.
- Always wear a smug expression when you talk to the public. Remember, Democrats own the moral high ground.
- Fundraising for your next election is the main part of your job.
These are the basic handbook extensions for the Democrat Party. Other rules are being tested and may be added later.